{"id":54977,"date":"2014-07-14T08:30:24","date_gmt":"2014-07-14T13:30:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/?p=54977"},"modified":"2018-04-12T16:40:48","modified_gmt":"2018-04-12T21:40:48","slug":"why-job-hunting-isnt-like-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/?p=54977","title":{"rendered":"Why Job-Hunting Isn\u2019t Like Dating"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Ruth Kitchin Tillman, previous Head Editor, INALJ Maryland<\/a>
\npreviously published 12\/19\/13<\/em><\/p>\n

Why Job-Hunting Isn\u2019t Like Dating<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"ruthtillman\"<\/a>Sometimes, the hunt for a job and for a date can seem awfully similar. You scan websites looking for good matches. You visit networking events hoping to meet someone who has similar interests to your own. You exchange emails or phone calls before actually going out. And rejection can be similarly painful.<\/p>\n

Yet for all this, I think it\u2019s important for new professionals in particular to remember that looking for a job is actually quite different from looking for a partner.<\/p>\n

1. It\u2019s ok to be second-best<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Nobody wants to hear a date or prom invitation start with \u201cSo, Sheila said no and I was wondering if\u2026\u201d But in jobs, it\u2019s ok to be your employer\u2019s second choice for a position. Unlike in love, in business your employer is not going to keep pining for \u201cthe one that got away.\u201d Once you\u2019re in the position, you\u2019re the one they\u2019re working with every day and focusing on.<\/p>\n

Once you\u2019ve made it far enough that you are their second or third choice (and you may not even know which you were), you\u2019re already someone they like a lot. I was recently on a pastoral search committee. It took us nearly a year to find the right candidates, narrow them down, phone interview, interview in person, arrange for them to meet with various church committees, and then choose and finalize a candidate. By the point we got to in-person interviews, we were left with two fantastic candidates. They were extremely different people, but each brought strengths we thought would be great fits for our congregation. If our first choice had turned down the offer, we would have been quite happy to go with our second.<\/p>\n

2. It\u2019s not a one-time thing<\/strong><\/h4>\n

In dating, it\u2019s good advice to take rejection and let it go. But a library\/archives is usually much bigger than just the single position. While you should accept a search committee\u2019s decision not to hire you (don\u2019t stalk or badger or argue), be aware that during the whole process you\u2019ve made contacts which you may be able to call upon in the future.<\/p>\n

If you made it to the point of interviewing, they saw something interesting in you. Should another position that fits your experience open up, don\u2019t hesitate to apply. They didn\u2019t reject you, they simply thought someone else was an even better fit than you were. You may also hear from people at the institution suggesting that you apply for a relevant job with them or other organizations. Take them up on it.<\/p>\n

3. It\u2019s not (really) personal<\/strong><\/h4>\n

It may<\/i> be personal, but it\u2019s probably not. This is similar to point one, but it merits repeating. Both dating and job hunting can feel incredibly personal. But in most cases a decision to hire someone else is by no means a rejection of you and your skills.<\/p>\n

You may be a perfect fit for the position and a great person to work with, but if the other person is both these things and<\/i> has a recommendation from the hiring manager\u2019s old mentor, then they\u2019re going to get the job. Rejection sucks, no doubt. But keep in mind that it\u2019s unlikely that they thought or said any of the hurtful things that your ex may have.<\/p>\n

Job hunting can be as nerve-wracking and emotionally draining as trying to find a potential life partner. Just remind yourself as you do it that it\u2019s not nearly so personal as your experiences in the dating world may make it feel.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Ruth Kitchin Tillman, previous Head Editor, INALJ Maryland previously published 12\/19\/13 Why Job-Hunting Isn\u2019t Like Dating Sometimes, the hunt for a job and for a date can seem awfully similar. You scan websites looking for good matches. You visit networking events hoping to meet someone who has similar interests to your own. You exchange…<\/p>\n

Read more \u2192<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":44442,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[145],"tags":[69,3592,3659,5475],"class_list":["post-54977","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","tag-article","tag-blog","tag-inalj-maryland","tag-ruth-kitchin-tillman"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/ruthkitchentillman.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1WoMK-eiJ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54977","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=54977"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54977\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/44442"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=54977"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=54977"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=54977"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}