{"id":46444,"date":"2013-11-06T14:30:25","date_gmt":"2013-11-06T19:30:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/?p=46444"},"modified":"2013-11-04T09:21:47","modified_gmt":"2013-11-04T14:21:47","slug":"the-comparison-trap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/?p=46444","title":{"rendered":"The Comparison Trap"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Diana La Femina, Head Editor, INALJ South Carolina<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

The Comparison Trap<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"Diana.LaFemina\"<\/a>I\u2019ve written about finding your strengths, about tracking your accomplishments, and about taking risks and following through. I know some of these are rather generic and obvious, but sometimes it\u2019s the obvious things that need to be brought into conversation or else we\u2019ll get bogged down in details. Today I want to talk about the comparing yourself to others and how detrimental that can be.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had a hellish month (month and a half, really). 10-11 hour days at work have become my norm, I had a recurring illness that just wouldn\u2019t go away <\/i>for four weeks, a death in the family, and a rather alarming health scare for another family member. It\u2019s been exhausting and stressful and I haven\u2019t had any time or energy to follow through on things I need to following my last blog post.<\/p>\n

Why do I bring this up? Because it\u2019s at times like this that I look at other people and where they are in their lives and begin to compare where I am to where they are. I won\u2019t go into specifics of who I\u2019m comparing myself to, but I\u2019m certain anyone who reads this will commiserate. Job seekers and the employed alike all compare where they are now to where others appear to be. Who hasn\u2019t asked themselves why someone else is \u201cluckier\u201d than they are?<\/p>\n

I chose the words above purposefully. We compare ourselves to where other people appear to be, not necessarily where they are. Social media presents a small lens into other people\u2019s lives. We see only what they choose to show us, but usually we think we\u2019re seeing the whole picture. For example, a while back I sent out a note to a bunch of friends from my MLS days asking how they got to where they are and if they had any advice. They all seemed to have wonderful full-time jobs doing what they loved. The answers I received were surprising; one person was only employed temporarily, another was working as a page.<\/p>\n

And it\u2019s not fair at all to judge someone else as \u201clucky\u201d for getting a position. That person undoubtedly put in a ton of effort and networking to gain their position. Who am I to gainsay them the results of their work?<\/p>\n

My point is this: by comparing ourselves to others we do a disservice both to the other person and to ourselves. Am I where I wanted to be, or where I want to be in a few years\u2019 time? No, I\u2019m not. But that should motivate me to make changes and to evaluate where I want to be and how I can get there. It will take a lot of work and it won\u2019t be easy, but \u201cluck\u201d doesn\u2019t come to those who wait.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Diana La Femina, Head Editor, INALJ South Carolina The Comparison Trap I\u2019ve written about finding your strengths, about tracking your accomplishments, and about taking risks and following through. I know some of these are rather generic and obvious, but sometimes it\u2019s the obvious things that need to be brought into conversation or else we\u2019ll…<\/p>\n

Read more \u2192<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[145],"tags":[69,3592,5648,3996,3633,5649,5223],"class_list":["post-46444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","tag-article","tag-blog","tag-comparisons","tag-diana-la-femina","tag-inalj-south-carolina","tag-luck","tag-positive-attitude"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1WoMK-c56","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46444","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=46444"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46444\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=46444"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=46444"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inalj.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=46444"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}